Ode To Chili's (I Hope You Die A Fiery Death)

My local Chili's chain,
How I hate you so,
I have heard about your gluten free menu,
So today I decided to go.

I didn't get risky,
Decided to play it cool,
I ordered a caesar salad,
To prevent an intestinal duel.

But you deceive me so!
What did you do?
Just pick the croutons out of my lettuce?
How could I ever trust you?

I couldn't make it through half,
Forgive me if I say,
You weren't worth the plate you were served on,
Yet still, I had to pay.

And now my tummy grumbles,
It's been awhile since it's been this bad,
Tonight it could barely handle,
The gluten free sandwich I just had.

So here's to you, you piece of shit Chili's,
You listen close, you hear?
Here's a big middle finger from me,
And oh, Happy New Year!

Farewell to 2008!

Merry (late) Christmas everyone! I hope everyone had great gluten free holidays! I had a FANTASTIC Christmas and got what I have always dreamed about....

A KITCHENAID MIXER!!!

It's beautiful isn't it?

I've been struggling with my pathetic little handheld mixer for a while now, and I've been dying for one of these. My little handheld mixer could not EVER mix bread dough. So if I ever wanted to make delicious gluten free sandwiches, I had to go to my mom's house and mix it there. That's not an easy feat when you're trying to transport 47 different flours. (lol)

So this past weekend, I excitedly made my first loaf of gluten free flax bread in my new mixer. I already see BLT's (remember those?) in my very near future.

This bread is the absolute best bread I have ever tried. Brandon even said that if I make this, he will stop buying regular bread at the grocery store. YAY! Plus, flax seeds are fantastic for your health. Go here to read about all the ways flax seed is good for you!

Gluten Free Flax Seed Bread

(Please follow this link to see the actual recipe. There is a link to her cookbook there as well.)

Ingredients

1 1/4 cups gluten-free flour
1/4 cup garfava flour
1/2 cup potato starch
1/4 cup cornstarch
1/4 cup flax seed meal
2 1/2 teaspoons xanthan gum
2 teaspoons active dry yeast
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
2 egg whites
1 cup water or milk
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 tablespoons honey
2 teaspoons vinegar

Directions

1. Combine flours, flax, starches, gum, yeast, salt.
2. In the mixer, combine wet ingredients, then add the dry.
3. Scrape the sides, and mix on medium for 4-5 minutes.
4. Pour into 9x5 pan, and let rise to top of pan (took about 80 minutes). I always, always let it rise in a turned off oven.
5. Bake at 350F for about 40 minutes.
6. Remove from pan, cool, and slice.

For the flour, I used the Whole Foods brand 365 gluten free flour mix, and since that already has xantham gum in in, I added half the amount called for in the recipe. Garfava flour is a mix of Garbanzo bean flour and Fava bean flour...it took some searching but I found it at a Whole Foods already mixed by Bob's Red Mill.

Tomorrow is New Years Eve, I will be celebrating it quietly. I am looking forward to 2009 with great excitement! I have just over 90 days to finish all this wedding planning! So far I have the location, the dress and accompaning accessories, the cake, the bridesmaid's dress, the officiant, the DJ, and the flowers. I know what I want to do for favors, and I have received what I ordered for it, now I just have to go get the other parts needed to put them all together. I have picked out invitations, just need to order them. I know who is catering, just have to book them. And I am planning on booking the rental stuff (tables, chairs, etc...did I mention the wedding is in a residential park?) at the Arizona Bridal Show coming up here in about a week and a half. So that leaves odds and end stuff and....a photographer. UGH. WHY do they have to be so EXPENSIVE? I'm sure I've forgotten something, too. Lol. I've somehow managed to keep my cool through all this. No Bridezilla moments...yet. :)

So here's to a healthy, happy, gluten free 2009!

Post-Thanksgiving Merriment, Pumpkin Pie disaster, and Gluten Free Cafe review!

I managed to achieve the seemly impossible! I made it through Thanksgiving without getting sick! The food was absolutely delicious, I definitely gorged myself to the maximum! The gluten free stuffing (anyone ever wonder why some people call it "dressing"?) that Brandon's mom's friend Nancy made was absolutely phenomenal. I brought the leftovers home with me. :) One person tried it unknowningly, and said afterward that they couldn't even tell it was gluten free. Some of the close-minded comments that were flying kinda irked me a bit, but I got over it quickly. If they want to shut themselves off to trying new and fantastic food just because it's "gluten free," then that's their problem. That's why I always get a kick out of cooking everything gluten free, and no one evens knows! That's how my wedding is going to be....muahaha.

I had my fair share of pumpkin pie depression yesterday. I normally bake a gluten free pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving, but this year I did not. I took pie last year, and there turned out to be, like, 10 pies there. So I didn't bother this year. I had to pain-stakingly listen as everyone talked about how good the pumpkin pie was. Ugh, it was torture. Pumpkin pie is very close to the top of my Favorite Things EVER list. So today, I defrosted my pre-made Gluten Free Bakehouse pie crust, and decided to make myself a pie!

I was sooo excited. I could already see myself slicing myself a very generous portion of this delicious pie. Then, as I took the pie out of the oven to test for doneness, I thought, "You know, they sure don't give you a lot of edge space to hold this sucker..." and then BAM! My beautiful, delightful, pumpkin pie slipped out of my oven mit covered hands right onto the open door of my oven! I started crying. Seriously. I was so desperate for my pie, I felt my Thanksgiving just wasn't complete without it. This is what it looks like:


I appreciate your tears of empathy for me. Brandon, of course, saved the day by telling me the pie would be just as delicious mangled as it would be in perfect form. So I resisted the urge to throw the damn pie against the wall in anger. I will eat the pie. It still sucks though.

For lunch today, I tried a new frozen meal I found at Whole Foods the other day (coincidentally when I was buying my gluten free pie crust).

Gluten Free Cafe Fettuccini Alfredo.

I have never heard of, nor seen, this brand in the store before. I LOVE fettuccini alfredo, so I decided to give it a whirl. It's simple enough, poke some holes in the plastic, cook for 3 minutes, remove plastic and stir, then cook for another 2 minutes.

I thought it was pretty good. The noodles seemed a little mushy, they sort of lost their definition during cooking. They were very soft, but tasted good. I thought the whole meal tasted sort of buttery. And even though you all know my love for Glutino brand products, I have to say this was much, much, MUCH better than their penne alfredo or whatever it was. That was just gross. So while I can't report that this frozen meal was life-altering, I can say that it is good enough in a pinch, and I would buy it again. They also have other flavors, so you might wanna check those out too.

Now I must get back to writing my research paper on Celiac disease. :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! I am excited to hear about everyone's gluten free celebrations!

To say that I am a little nervous for the Thanksgiving feast this year would be an understatement. This is my first entirely gluten free Thanksgiving, and I'm eating surrounded by gluten-filled food. I am incredibly sensitive now (I got miserably ill from a shared stick of butter) and I'm so worried I am going to get sick. It almost seems inevitable for things to get cross-contaminated somehow. On a good note though, this is when you realize just how incredible the people in your life are. Brandon's mom is not stuffing the turkey, she's cooking the stuffing in a separate pan. Her friend is also bringing gluten free stuffing! It's amazing, really. I don't expect anyone to alter their meals just because I can't eat something. I can't say how appreciative I am when someone goes out of their way, just because they want to. I guess you could say that I am really thankful for all these wonderful, understanding, and accomodating people in my life!

So my plan of attack for the day is this: I am taking my own gluten free gravy. I am going to watch spoons like a hawk. Any double dipped spoons, and I will not be eating the dish, gluten free or not. I'm going to stick to the basics: turkey, gluten free gravy, mashed potatoes (made from real potatoes, not flakes). And I'm going to avoid sticks of butter! Good luck to everyone not attending an entirely gluten free thanksgiving!

Something else I am thankful for this year: my wonderful fiance! Yes, we got engaged! Last week was our 3-year anniversary, and in a perfectly-devised, surprise plan, Brandon proposed! I was shocked! We're getting married at the beginning of April '09, so we have just over 4 months to pull together a (gluten free) wedding! I have spent a week scouring for a gluten free wedding cake! I have found a place miraculously down the street from the wedding site! It honestly is a miracle because I only found 2 places in all of Arizona that offers gluten free cakes, one of which is over 2 hours away and I'd have to transport my own (incredibly expensive) cake. We pick up our sample gluten free cake on Tuesday! I am so excited! I'll be sure to share all of the gluten free details with everyone!

Happy Turkey Day!