My local Chili's chain,
How I hate you so,
I have heard about your gluten free menu,
So today I decided to go.
I didn't get risky,
Decided to play it cool,
I ordered a caesar salad,
To prevent an intestinal duel.
But you deceive me so!
What did you do?
Just pick the croutons out of my lettuce?
How could I ever trust you?
I couldn't make it through half,
Forgive me if I say,
You weren't worth the plate you were served on,
Yet still, I had to pay.
And now my tummy grumbles,
It's been awhile since it's been this bad,
Tonight it could barely handle,
The gluten free sandwich I just had.
So here's to you, you piece of shit Chili's,
You listen close, you hear?
Here's a big middle finger from me,
And oh, Happy New Year!