Tuesday, July 1, 2008

No one said it would always be easy

Most days I find I enjoy being gluten free and don't find it to be a struggle whatsoever. I have found a great new hobby in cooking and love coming up with new meals to try. But then, there are days, where this diet seems downright cruel. Like when I walked into the kitchen at work yesterday to find complimentary, delicious-smelling donuts. I had forgotten about donuts, believe it or not. But to have that familiar smell of a glazed donut dancing its way into my nostrils, it made me want to sell both of my beloved chihuahuas to a fur coat maker just to be able to sink my teeth into one (or...six). If I close my eyes and imagine, I can still remember the taste and texture of donuts. Today is no easier. I have visions of Subway sandwiches and bagels flying through my head. Then, to make matters worse, I walk into the kitchen at work today, and someone baked brownies and cookies. They look and smell amazing. I watch as my coworker eats one of each and my tummy silently cries. There are days where I can look at a cookie and not even want it. No thanks, I say without hesitation. Those are the days when I am most proud of what I have accomplished thus far with this diet. But then there are the days when I am at a birthday party and everyone is enjoying pizza and I'm eating a salad that's only sub-par. When everyone is eating birthday cake and I have nothing. When I make a gluten free angel food cake that's inedible. These days I feel weakened. I feel like life is giving me one test after another to see how strong my resolve is, how dedicated I am. But even at my weakest, I refuse to give up.

1 comment:

Michelle & Jacob said...

It is crazy that this is what you wrote about because I was going to send you an email about how hard it has been these last two days. We have been going through the same thing. I am so sorry. I miss those food items too.

I was glutened yesterday. My mom purchased this brand that usually had no wheat in it but she picked up the wrong flavor. I ate it and I was violently ill for most of the day. Night came and I felt better. I looked at what she cooked for dinner and it was chicken and veggies in SOY SAUCE (wheat product) so I was upset and I didnt know what to eat for dinner. It took me forever to find something to eat. Tonight at dinner, I had a barely filling item that greatly reduced in size when they took out the wheat laden item :( It cost more than it should have and I was still hungry from it.

I am sure not all days will seem like such a challenge but you are right, it gets hard.

No worries, I am planning Jacob's b-day party and there will be food we can both eat!!!